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Fear of Loss Myth

 

I went out for football my 7th & 8th grade year.  I was really quick, but also really small.  So when I did get hit, it usually sent me flying.  I remember the cross country coach at some point pulling me aside and asking me if I’d ever considered that sport.  It’s kinda funny when I think about it now.  So I went out my freshman year and found out pretty much all we did was run everyday so I found a few JV runners that felt like a good place to hang with and that’s what I did.  I ended up winning the first two JV meets by quite a long shot.  The next week when we came in off our run out in the country, the coach pulled me aside and said “you need to quit being lazy during practice and start running with the varsity runners.”

 

I remember thinking, “man that guy’s got some nerve.  I just won the first 2 meets.”  But the next day at practice I decided to go ahead and run with the varsity guys.  I suppose my people pleasing needs kicked in, but that’s a different blog.  Anyway, I surprised myself and realized I could actually hang with them.  I even started placing in the top ten at meets and by the end of the season I was running #1 and #2 spots on our team, thus beginning a complete high school career of competition. Now before I go any further, let me say that competitive sports had tons of benefits for a young guy like me.  It gave me confidence.  I felt like I was part of something bigger than myself and it was just fun.  

 

Once leaving school, I competed to be the best guitar player.  I competed to get the most entertainment agency clients. I competed get the most advertising clients.  I competed to...on and on and on.  One day, I heard someone say “if you are competing for anything out of fear, you will never attract what you want in life”.  Wait a minute, hasn’t this person heard “fear of loss is the most powerful motivator?”  I began diving into this idea and quickly learned a ton.  Yes, fear can drive to you achieve all kinds of things, but at what cost?  I started exploring this “easier way” of realizing that there is enough out there for everyone and the only thing keeping anyone from getting what they want is 100% the act of holding themselves back internally.  

 

I used to look at people ultra successful in wonderment of what they had or knew that I didn’t.  But in most of them, I began to notice a calmness about them. I also noticed a kindness and for the most part nothing negative coming out of their mouth.  It was as if they were not only not afraid of competition, they weren’t even thinking about it.  Instead, they continued to focus their thoughts on abundance thoughts and their actions and results reflected it.  And what do you know, when I began that shift in my own life, the same thing happened.  Not instantly, but the more consistent I got, the more positive momentum was created.  Now, anytime I have a slight lapse or regression to the old way of thinking, my internal alarm starts dinging, “turn back, this is not the way”.   Life is so much more fun and free living this way.  Give it a shot.  What’s it gonna hurt.  You’re not afraid are ya?


 

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